Sanest
by Eziana
Summary: Working with a job like Alice's sometimes suck. Do you get paid for overtime? NO. Received any gratitude or appreciation? Meh, so-so. A vacation? Ha-ha, funny you assume that –Wait what? AU. OC-Centric Adult!Arco Landlady!Nana Child!10thgen [New Summary]
1. Morning

Namimori.

Your common, small, sleepy town just edges away from the bustling cities. Amazing natural landscapes, fresh air, low criminal activities; the perfect place for retirees to settle down from their former duties. Or perhaps a destination for a relaxing vacation.

Not far from the shopping district lies a homely apartment where our protagonist will be staying.

* * *

Alice was **not** a morning person. Enough said.

To elaborate, the sunlight burns her eyes just from split contact; the cold air only makes her snuggle her warm, cosy blanket even deeper; only to sleep away until around eleven or so.

Unfortunately, she can't do that anymore.

No. Because of a certain _someone's_ idea of bonding, she's been forced to wake up on ungodly hours. Like literally dragged out of her sanctuary just to have some social interaction.

 _Sin!_ She tells them. _Sin!_

Swearing up and down, she throws every insult that comes in mind to the person on waking up duty. Recently, she used that little opportunity for her own means.

Don't get her wrong. It's _stressful_ living with her group. While yes, it actually does help her in many ways other than dealing the living cost which she was ever so grateful to not, it still wasn't worth her insanity. So why not take advantage of it while she can?

Alice was pretty sure the only reason they didn't retaliate was because either they found it amusing, their feelings already died from childhood or they just thought she was barely sober and wack in the head.

Their leader was one. Why not her? It was an insult to her pride but Alice _needs_ the outlet.

Which let to her current situation with herself up, notably at a world record time with no one to aim her morning drowsiness at.

Alice mumbles a chain of curses as she forced her sloth of a body move to the kitchen. It was a miracle (and with the help of her rich unwanted experience of walking toward hazards), she didn't stub her toe on something while she made her morning breakfast. Only after taking a sip of her nice, cool sweet sugary strawberry with chocolate whip smoothie then she was actually alive and functional to the world.

That's when she noticed something was missing. Weird. What time is it? She flickered to the clock.

Seven a quarter to eight. _World record indeed._ Alice pat herself on the back for actually waking up at such time.

"Let's have some chocolate pancakes as a reward." She grins at her own genius idea. They did say chocolate in the morning can help in your diet. It's two birds with one stone! Or maybe three?

Any minute now...

* * *

It was an unsaid fact, nothing eventful happens in Namimori. Just the usual shenanigans of the residents; going through their daily lives. The only highlight of the town is its reputation for attracting foreigners from different countries. Not uncommon to see a few blonds, exotic features walking around the area.

Just a normal occurrence in Namimori.

* * *

... ** _Click!_**

[Alice? What happen? I thought we're communicating via letters because you're angry with me.]

"Yeah, it's me." Alice switches the call to her earpiece as she flips through the document file. "Don't worry, I'm still pissed. Just calling to update something."

[Okay. What's the update?]

"You know the will I revised last month?"

[Yeah... What about it?]

"Can your change the sow's percentage of the bequest to 1% for me."

[... Am I hearing that right? A-Are you sick, Alice? Dying?! Don't you dare die on me, Alice! *rummage* Quick! Call the teach's private doctors. Alice is-]

"No." She rolled her eyes at the responder's dramatic reaction. "Don't go killing people for your own amusement. I can assure you, I'm still living. Overreacting much?"

[... _Sure._ I'm suppose to belive you're actually giving her 1% of the cut out of your own _**generous**_ _,_ ** _pure_** heart. _Alice_. Either you're sick, dying, threatened -wait, nah you still wouldn't. So, what? Did she actually managed to bribe you or something?]

Alice slams her hand on the desk, growling. "I'll be _dead_ before that happens and you know that." She scoff, "I get it. I'm a _low-class_ person, sure, but I still have dignity than ever think to accepting any of _her_ offerings."

[Okay, okay. Sheesh, I don't usually go asking for an explanation no matter how questionable the action was but surely, at least, this here is detail worthy. Just a hint? Pretty please with a big juicy sweet sweet cherry on top.]

At that, Alice sobered and sigh, running a hand through her hair. "It's probably nothing. I'm a bit paranoid with how things been going and-

"Hiiiieeeee!" A familiar shriek cut her voice off, followed by a slam of a door. "I'm late!"

Her lips tugged upwards.

[... Alice? Did-]

"So here's what I'm thinking." Alice chime in greater mood, abandoning the documents on the desk and flopped onto the sofa. "Why don't _we_ , the both of us, rewind our conversation from the start?"

[Seriously, Alice did some-]

"Thanks, you're the best. Really, being honest here." She skims through the channels until she found the right one. Finally, she could actually see the morning anime live. "This conversation never happened. Forget everything I previously said and keep that sow's percentage zero."

[Yeah, yeah. Anyway-]

"Again, you're the best, cap! But yeah, I'm still pissed. One more week before the temper cools, right? Let's continue this chat at the next letter, kay? See ya."

[Wait! Alice!] **_Click!_**...

"And I was worrying something will happen today." She laughs, and starts singing along as the opening theme song begin.

* * *

Namimori.

Just your average, sleepy, old town. Where foreigners and locals alike come as a relaxing destination. Nothing the ordinary to disturb your day. Away from the usual pollution and common sense. Where the day only starts with chaos in the morning.

Just the usual routine of the residents of Namimori. Or at least for the residents of Shiero hōyō.

* * *

So, drabble fic?

[Original post (28/1/18)]

[Revised (24/2/19)]


	2. Vacation

"- And next time, _please_ , I insist, I highly recommend for you to check your brain, memories, papers, cards, the _go_ \- very information on your problems, the section it should have been complain to, before pushing your problems to another person who have better things to do than wasting their time, hearing you talk bizzare, nonsensical nonsense which has nothing to do with their work." She took a deep breath, keeping up a professional smile. "Have a nice day."

 _ **Click!...**_

After ending the call with a cheerful chime, Alice leans back on her wheelchair and pondered on if any of her earlier choices in life were a mistake.

"Ah... If I'm talking about mistake then meeting that sow is definitely one them."

"You called?"

A shadow dawn on her, giving her a clear view of a familiar infuriating smile.

It just have to be _her_ of all people. Alice could feel her energy getting even more drained now. She groans. "Go away, Violet. I don't want to be disturbed right now."

The girl hums, fully understanding Alice's words yet choose to dismissed it.

"Hard day?" She asked off-handedly, generously pulled away her face and instead began poking on the blonde's stuff on desk.

"Of course not." Alice fake cheered. "It was going oh so wonderfully _great_ , well," her smile dropped, "that was, until _you_ came along."

"My." Violet twirled with her face expressing her utmost moved feelings with a hand over her chest. "I never thought my presence made your day even brighter, Alice. Had anyone tell you're such a flatterer?"

Alice rolled her eyes, ignoring the last bit of the sentences. "Keep dreaming the impossible, sow. Maybe one day it'll never ever happen."

The redhead chuckled with mirth than feeling offended by the rudeness. "Anyway, I got a letter for you." She waved a letter to her direction.

"From?"

She raised a brow as if she ask a ridiculous question. "Who else?"

Alice frowns, but didn't say anything and wordlessly took the letter from her. Opening it with a letter opener, she read the letter before reading it again from top to bottom for better understanding. She nods sagely and turns to her companion.

"Either give me the real letter or a lighter. Make your choice, _sow_."

"Oh? There's no need to accused people, Alice. I assure you, I already gave you the real letter."

"Then hand over your lighter. " Alice demands, stretching her hand in a grabby motion. "I don't get all day, you know."

Violet pondered. "She said she wrote it bluntly though. Did you read it wrong?"

She scowl. "Well, the darn letter is in codes. The nuthead was probably watching some coding tutorial videos again. Now give me your lighter, Violet! I know you always carry one to burn some —for all I know illegal evidences."

"Hm…" Violet ignored the increasing irritated blonde, "Let me see that."

She snatched the letter off her hand and since she didn't get deck after said action, Violet guessed that's green light to continue reading its content.

"… Well, congratulation, Alice. You managed to earned a paid-vacation! How envious~" She gave her a teasing look.

"It's not." Alice growls, taking back the letter. "It's a code needing to be crack that's what."

Violet sigh at the unfortunate paranoid case that was her friend. "Is it really hard to take things at face value?"

She snaps."I wouldn't survive if I did, now wouldn't I?"

"Touché."

"Besides, she prepared it." Like it answers everything.

It actually did.

Violet hums. "Well, she also said you're going whether you want to or not."

Alice narrowed her eyes. "Abusing employer's rights."

She tut back. "It's called Forced Vacation, dear Alice."

"It has ' _forced_ ' in it."

"Perhaps, but you're been working so hard this past few weeks." Violet smiles, "Maybe it's time to unwind a bit."

She was kidding, right? "Unwind? Yeah, right. The only good in this vacation thing is my blood pressure rising." The letter was doing its job just fine and dandy if you ask her.

Violet rolled her eyes, feeling somewhat disappointment with the blonde. "Just give it a chance, Alice. Stop being so cynical and try falling into the rabbit hole for once?"

The blonde pull her lips to a thin line to show her displeasure.

Well, she didn't explode with her pun. That's a sign, indicating where her real interest lies.

"This week's theme is honesty." Violet nudged. "Don't you think it'll be a blessing in disguise like always?"

Alice mulled over her words before scoffing, "Violet, if the offer's real then it would either our nutcase have more screw loose than before or it's the address for my rehab center for falling to insanity because of you sick people."

She laugh. This'll be a good time killing before her next assignment.

Smirking, _we'll see about that._

* * *

Twice update in a single day? I'm on fire! 🔥🔥

(While ignoring my other works.) 😓 The next part of the previous 2nd chapter will be post as soon as I find the time to revise it.

[Original post (21/4/2018)]

[Revise (24/2/2019)]


	3. Moving

(I'm really sorry, ffnet deleted the spacing and there's no break lines in mobile so I'll change it as soon as I get access to a functional laptop.)

Take note I have no idea how the whole process renting the apartment and google wasn't much that of a help. Nor I have a clue how landlords works. I'm sorry for the-very-sure-inaccurate-process-I-wrote. Feel free to tell me how exactly the process is done.

You may now continue.

00

Why was she here?

Alice was confused. Out of all the members in her group, she could say her memory skills was pretty decent. At least, better than their picky captain that is. She was pretty sure the last thing she remembers was rejecting the scam-of-an-offer straight to the sow's face, and now, she's in Namimori?

There's something wrong there. She needs to recap.

Ah no, wait... Right, right, she remembers now. Argh.. Why did she did that? _That **fucking** _little-

00

So, it seems she made a deal with a witch.

 _Great_. Best decision yet. She must be drugged to actually agree to it.

00

Alice looks at the perfectly normal building and compares it with the picture printed on the pamphlet in-hand.

 _-a destination for a relaxing vacation._

She couldn't help but snorted. If that didn't scream warning of chaos up ahead, she didn't know what was.

"Well, let's get this over with." Alice grabs her luggage and marched towards her apparent doom.

00

It pains her to say but despite her captain's questionable state of mentality, they really know her taste well. A shopping area just 10 minute walk away, a decent park around the corner, good facilities around the apartment and the most attractive of them all, the guaranteed of privacy which she expected of a town which garnered popularity with foreigners.

She's still suspicious with it still being _her_ choice of lodging. There was a time she would causally accepted it without thought. Once is enough, thank you very much. She did not need to relive old memories.

"Excuse me," Alice knock on the doorway. "Is there anybody here?"

Only silence replied back.

Alice looks back to the letter again, making sure she got the right address and yes, she did. "Then, that could only means the landlady's not in. Great." Again sigh. "Guess someone will be camping outside for the night."

She turns and accidently bump someone. Alice managed to regain balance and quickly offered to help the nice-looking woman off the ground. "I really sorry, miss. I wasn't looking where I was going."

"Ara, there's no need to apologise." The brunette smiles. "You must be Alice."

There's a lot of ways how things would turn out but Alice picked the between the most rational and most radical choice out of the thousand which fired in the second she registered the words.

She smiled back. "Since you know my name. I'm guessing, you're the landlady, Sawada Nana?"

00

"Is that really all the paperwork I need to sign?" Alice questioned. She thought there were more. _Weird_.

"The others have already been taking care of." Nana chirped, staking the papers neatly. She opens a drawer, taking out a key. "This is the key to your room. Would you like me to show you were?"

"Ah, that's fine Sawada, -san. I'm pretty sure I can find it on my own. Second door on the third floor, right?"

The landlady grins. "That's right and you can call me 'Maman' like everybody else. Sawada-san makes me feel old."

"Ah, well... I already have a 'maman' at home, so-"Alice grimaced, half amused at Nana's frown "-Why not Nana? It'll be more to my usual calling." She laughs awkwardly.

Nana-san moods immediately brightens and Alice already pities the man who married her. _Must been a sucker._

"Well, I'll be going now." She waved, hoping to get away sooner the better. No offense to her or anything, but it's the weekend. Weekend means free-social interaction with strangers (because it's impossible with people she know) unless she really needed to.

Building their relationship could wait later.

00

Alice stood, staring at the room for a while now. She should probably get in if she didn't want to meet the new neighbours right now. Her hand laid on the doornob.

"Get a grip, Alice." She hissed. _You'll show that mary-sue that you're right and slay this vacation._

With that, she sigh, upon relieving a fact and surrendering herself to whatever shit she have to pick with during her so-called resting time.

Her first thought after examining the overall of the room was - _Huh, it looks pretty normal._

What comes next was - _Well, time to look for hidden crap and all that._

00

Surveillance cameras? _None_.

Trap door? _Zero_.

Hidden room? _Nope_.

Hidden stairways? _Na-da_.

Spike food or drinks? _Clean_.

Secret lair? _Still searching._

Secret tunnel? _Can't say yet_.

"So, there's only the tracker on my clothes... " Alice mutters before groaning outloud. That lunatic just won't let her off easy, huh. She could feel the blood pressure rising. Fan-fucking-tastic. At least one normal thing actually happened.

Deciding to lay it off first, Alice took a bath then changes into more comfortable pajamas.

She slip into her wheelie chair, placing a cup noodle on the table. The fridge was fully stock, fresh even but she ain't taking risk in case they were mixed with her captain's specialised ingredients. She really has no idea how she ate those shit. Screw her the one time she made her eat it. Cup noodle however, is forever life's bestfriend.

 _Except_ when trying to lost weight. Or sugar levels and other medical things she should bother herself with than indulging to this unhealthy stuff.

That's why she's eating vegetables flavour. Well-mix-balanced on the pyramid.

Might as well work on the letter too, she guess.

00

To lunatic,

As scheduled, I have arrived to the suspicious apartment and verified the unsecure room you booked. If you have any guilty conscience then this would be the time to confess. It was also as informed, I agreed to the offer without barging to your office and demanding any explanation. Your messenger and I... Had an agreement, thus having me silently complying to my current situation. Our relationship did not change in any way so rest assure there is nothing to take advantage of, just so you can have an excuse to burn some innocent place down.

Despite not being required to, I will write a monthy/weekly/daily letter to you as a observation dairy incase my chances of falling to the spiral of insanity increases. There is a will under my drawer if worse to come and my chances of survival depleted.

I would be grateful if you sent some assignment for the sake of dealing with the boredom.

Sincerely,

Alice.

Ps. If you though you could escape any conference/meetings/work in my absense. I _will_ find out and trust me on this, I will make you **suffer**.

00

So that's day one of Alice's vacation. Next is dun, dun, duuuun! Neighbours... Urgh, can't do the sfx right. Oh well. Can you guys guess who'll appear next?

Until the next update, see ya~

[Revised (4/3/2019)]

If anyone had read the first ver. of this, I made Alice to be more calmer, mature(?) and somewhat low-key unlike her previous personality. A hothead, dramatic, rash and kinda whiny. Not really what I was going for someone who lives with chaos and was done with it.


End file.
